Sometimes I feel like my life is a big oxymoron, I like this but not that, I enjoy this, but not when it looks like that...
As someone who is attempting to find balance and looking all over for it, I am finding that more of my life has the "but" factor. I am a pretty positive person in the majority of area's in my life, but it takes a lot for me to every be truly comfortable in positivity, because I react in conversation and discussion in more of a pessimistic way.
Let's take my current job, I love it. I have no reason to not enjoy every single moment of it, but today I feel like a huge failure, I am seeing the future of education get sucked away to a place filled with worksheets and spoon-feeding. As teachers we are pushed to do so many things, try something new, use social media, etc etc, BUT then we are failing at creating students who can function with out it and/or alongside it.
Like most most schools we are facing budget cuts, thus promoting negativity and speculation all over the place. The students are creating rumors, teachers are hypothesizing and what it boils down to is that people are getting hurt and students are loosing out on great opportunities. We are cutting things that create what I believe is the most "well rounded" students possible. But at least I have a job.
The "but" factor isn't only in my job, it is seeped into my personal life as well. I love that I own my home, and I did it with out assistance, but I loathe that time of the month when something bad happens and I have to call my father or my guy friends. TRUE STORY: I woke up in the middle of the night because I thought some body was breaking into my house, called my guy friend...it turned out to be something had fallen off a shelf in my shower. I totally felt like an idiot.
I know that when it comes do dating people look at me and see a girl who has it all together, great job, great house, can manage on her own BUT sometimes that gets boring. I know I can manage on my own, except when some body attempts to break in, however, some days I don't want to. (Other days that is what I would prefer :)
I think I have just come to the conclusion that in dealing with the "but" factor, you realize that there is always two sides to a story, but it is which side you choose that will function for you in the long run. BUT...
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
A love for reading...
When I was little I loved reading! My Grandma was a Librarian in North Dakota and it was great to be able to spend a week with her and see how many books I could get done; that was at age 10. At age 18-23 for me reading was spent on College Lit, Master's Lit or on a rare occasion Chick lit on my vacation (The few times I was able to read for pleasure). Now at age 28 I have found that being able to read for pleasure is a must for me.
Over the past snow days I read 2 books in one day and I was jazzed about it. My parents surprised me with a Kindle and I was pretty happy about that. I now have 21 books downloaded on it, and it is easy to carry around in my purse. Currently I am reading Chelsea Handler's first book and Soul Identity. But on top of that, I have a pile of books to be read.
After reading this....all I was thinking was "Cool Story Bro" I am not exactly where I intended to say with the post, but yay reading!
Over the past snow days I read 2 books in one day and I was jazzed about it. My parents surprised me with a Kindle and I was pretty happy about that. I now have 21 books downloaded on it, and it is easy to carry around in my purse. Currently I am reading Chelsea Handler's first book and Soul Identity. But on top of that, I have a pile of books to be read.
After reading this....all I was thinking was "Cool Story Bro" I am not exactly where I intended to say with the post, but yay reading!
Sometimes I forget that I need to blog....
I wish I could say that there is a legitimate reason as to my lack of blogging, but there really isn't. To be honest, I have been preferring Twitter over this because I am only able to think in 140 characters. (kidding)
Time to rock a little "Bridget Jones' Diary" action:
Date: March 25
Relationship status: Complicated
Job status: Love, love love it; Teaching high school is wonderful.
Vices: Girl scout cookies, mint chip ice cream, movies, fried food, etc.
Life: I really can't say that it sucks, I have great friends, great students, the cutest dog in the world, and a wonderful family. I am not feeling that I am missing out anything. Of course, I would love to have a little more cash in my pocket, but who wouldn't?
Moving on...
As previously stated, I love my job, it is one of the top 5 things that bring me joy. However, with every moment of my job there is an equally frustrating moment, like budget cuts, reading comprehension, pushing students to try, and go out on a limb, standards and what not. It also doesn't help that there is some major backlash going in and against my profession. With that being said, a lot of my time has been spent thinking about and what I want it to look like. Do I want to get another degree? Should it be in Administration? Or should I further into a specific area, theater? communications? education? and teach at the college level? Who knows, I still have plenty of time to decide!
Glad I remembered to blog today. :)
Time to rock a little "Bridget Jones' Diary" action:
Date: March 25
Relationship status: Complicated
Job status: Love, love love it; Teaching high school is wonderful.
Vices: Girl scout cookies, mint chip ice cream, movies, fried food, etc.
Life: I really can't say that it sucks, I have great friends, great students, the cutest dog in the world, and a wonderful family. I am not feeling that I am missing out anything. Of course, I would love to have a little more cash in my pocket, but who wouldn't?
Moving on...
As previously stated, I love my job, it is one of the top 5 things that bring me joy. However, with every moment of my job there is an equally frustrating moment, like budget cuts, reading comprehension, pushing students to try, and go out on a limb, standards and what not. It also doesn't help that there is some major backlash going in and against my profession. With that being said, a lot of my time has been spent thinking about and what I want it to look like. Do I want to get another degree? Should it be in Administration? Or should I further into a specific area, theater? communications? education? and teach at the college level? Who knows, I still have plenty of time to decide!
Glad I remembered to blog today. :)
Monday, February 7, 2011
What does love mean...
I have been questioning what love is and what it looks like a lot, I came across this email and I thought I should share, I still don't think I know the answer but these are sweet moments to help me and you find it.
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds ,
'What does love mean?'
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined
See what you think:
'When my grandmother got arthritis , she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.. So my grandfather does it for her all the time , even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca- age 8
'When someone loves you , the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4
'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him , to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing , you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that.
They look gross when they kiss' Emily - age 8
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents
and listen.' Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
'If you want to learn to love better , you should start with a friend who you hate , ' Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt , then he wears it everyday.' Noelle - age 7
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy - age 6
'During my piano recital , I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8
'My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6
'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford .' Chris - age 7
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' Mary Ann - age 4
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'Lauren - age 4
When you love somebody , your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image) Karen - age 7
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.' Mark - age 6
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it , you should say it a lot. People forget.' Jessica - age 8
And the final one
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry , the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard , climbed onto his lap , and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor , the little boy said ,
'Nothing , I just helped him cry'
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds ,
'What does love mean?'
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined
See what you think:
'When my grandmother got arthritis , she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.. So my grandfather does it for her all the time , even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca- age 8
'When someone loves you , the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4
'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him , to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing , you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that.
They look gross when they kiss' Emily - age 8
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents
and listen.' Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
'If you want to learn to love better , you should start with a friend who you hate , ' Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt , then he wears it everyday.' Noelle - age 7
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy - age 6
'During my piano recital , I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8
'My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6
'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford .' Chris - age 7
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' Mary Ann - age 4
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'Lauren - age 4
When you love somebody , your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image) Karen - age 7
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.' Mark - age 6
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it , you should say it a lot. People forget.' Jessica - age 8
And the final one
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry , the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard , climbed onto his lap , and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor , the little boy said ,
'Nothing , I just helped him cry'
Friday, January 28, 2011
Happiness is...
Today is Friday time for positive energy:
I the play "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" there is a song called Happiness. Today my happiness is:
1. A Video of my Nephew and his new found Muscles.
2. My Student teacher, bringing me Starbucks.
3. Glee Volume 4 on the iPod.
4. My puppy, Bradshaw, just wanting my attention.
5. Having hilarious students that can do and say silly things that just make you smile. (Evan that is to you and your "Situation")
6. Having a boyfriend who listens and can get just as fired up about the same things I do.
7. Friends who make you nachos, take you out to dinner, or send you texts with a cartoon naked butt that you can only smile at.
8. Work with people who sincerely care about you and will stop what they are doing to listen.
9. A Mom who is predicting that she will be living at my house in her old age...doesn't she know a Nursing home will still be acceptable, but feels that it is necessary to send that message to me over Facebook
10. Jersey Shore...nuff said!
Hope you all have some happiness this weekend!
I the play "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" there is a song called Happiness. Today my happiness is:1. A Video of my Nephew and his new found Muscles.
2. My Student teacher, bringing me Starbucks.
3. Glee Volume 4 on the iPod.
4. My puppy, Bradshaw, just wanting my attention.
5. Having hilarious students that can do and say silly things that just make you smile. (Evan that is to you and your "Situation")
6. Having a boyfriend who listens and can get just as fired up about the same things I do.
7. Friends who make you nachos, take you out to dinner, or send you texts with a cartoon naked butt that you can only smile at.
8. Work with people who sincerely care about you and will stop what they are doing to listen.
9. A Mom who is predicting that she will be living at my house in her old age...doesn't she know a Nursing home will still be acceptable, but feels that it is necessary to send that message to me over Facebook
10. Jersey Shore...nuff said!
Hope you all have some happiness this weekend!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Failure
I am really bothered today, and it came after having a conversation with my administrators. Here are the facts, I enjoy my job, I have days that are better than other, but I really enjoy what I do. I know that this is where I should be.
Today, however, I was told that people are wanting to see me fail or to be cut down. I have a really hard time with this. Why would anybody want to see some one fail, get in trouble, or cut a person down. I was told that my personality isn't accepted by all people. Okay....? I understand that I may not be everybody's favorite nor do I want to be. I also know that I may not always get a long with everybody, but I never EVER would wish failure, or disappointment on some one. Why are people threatened by smart, successful some what confidant individuals? And if you are threatened why wouldn't you strive to be more like them or at least appreciate some quality about that person. I don't love everybody in the world, but I will find some good or positive and/or appreciate what he or she may bring to the table.
This is a really hard thing for me to grasp, because being cut down or wish failure on someone seems so harsh. Don't get me wrong, in competition I have wished other people to not be as successful as I believed we were, but graciousness and class was still exuded from me. For instance, North Platte consistently wind our district in One-Act. The director is smug and uppity. however when they won, I said congrats and wished them well. I will congratulate a winner even if I wanted to win, that is a part of the game. I would look and process what they were successful at and use that to make myself successful. I am so very irritated.
Today, however, I was told that people are wanting to see me fail or to be cut down. I have a really hard time with this. Why would anybody want to see some one fail, get in trouble, or cut a person down. I was told that my personality isn't accepted by all people. Okay....? I understand that I may not be everybody's favorite nor do I want to be. I also know that I may not always get a long with everybody, but I never EVER would wish failure, or disappointment on some one. Why are people threatened by smart, successful some what confidant individuals? And if you are threatened why wouldn't you strive to be more like them or at least appreciate some quality about that person. I don't love everybody in the world, but I will find some good or positive and/or appreciate what he or she may bring to the table.
This is a really hard thing for me to grasp, because being cut down or wish failure on someone seems so harsh. Don't get me wrong, in competition I have wished other people to not be as successful as I believed we were, but graciousness and class was still exuded from me. For instance, North Platte consistently wind our district in One-Act. The director is smug and uppity. however when they won, I said congrats and wished them well. I will congratulate a winner even if I wanted to win, that is a part of the game. I would look and process what they were successful at and use that to make myself successful. I am so very irritated.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Sneaky Sneakers
This is dedicated to Justine:
Today I was glancing over to Justine's computer and I was told not to because I am a sneaky sneaker. This name calling reminded me of the talking sneakers that I used to watch on Saturday Morning Cartoons or maybe Sesame Street. So my mind wants to create a story about a sneaky sneaker who steals skittles and wears a sombrero. I think his name will be Sandeiago and he will look something like this:
His sole will be filled with salt and with every step he will sing a song Styx.
To be continued....
Today I was glancing over to Justine's computer and I was told not to because I am a sneaky sneaker. This name calling reminded me of the talking sneakers that I used to watch on Saturday Morning Cartoons or maybe Sesame Street. So my mind wants to create a story about a sneaky sneaker who steals skittles and wears a sombrero. I think his name will be Sandeiago and he will look something like this:
To be continued....
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Today I received a very important email...
While I was busy teaching and changing the world, one student at a time, I received this very important email: 
enough said!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Why I teach Creative Writing....
So this week I asked my new Creative Writing students to tell me why they wanted to take this class, I think it is only fair to say why I am glad I teach this class. For the students who know me, you know that I am pretty easy to get along with I that I enjoy laughing. I believe that having the ability to be creative and also the privilege to facilitate students creativity I am a happy teacher.
Being creative is something many people, students included, find frustrating and I can't figure out why. Maybe it is because they didn't have the imagination that I had as a kid. Or people are so tightly wound that they forget what it is like to let your mind run wild. (Something I hope the students in this class do). I keep trying to change some ways that we are going to create in this class and if you have any idea's please let me know. I hope you do enjoy the blogging and that all of you will reply to every body's at least 2 times and enjoy this class as much as I enjoy teaching it.
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