Gracias....

Today is Thanksgiving, and after living on this earth for 27 years, this is the first time it seems where I honestly FEEL thankful for everything I have been given. There is literally one month left of 2009 and the time line of this year for me is astonishing, the highs the lows, the plateau's but I never sincerely felt the "thanks" in my heart until this one.
Things I am thankful for in no particular order:
My family~ They are truly amazing, and I have taken them for granted so often, but I could not live with out them. My parents, are such awesome role models, humans, examples, they are honest and loving and giving and most of all inspiring. My brother has never not amazed me, three years of my life have been clouded by manipulations and deceit and jealousy that I never realized what a gift he is in my life. My sister and brother-in-law, have given me their support and encouragement and also a nephew, who has changed a small part of me and my entire immediate family. They are my rocks!
My dog, Bradshaw~ Getting him was exactly what I needed. He makes me laugh, he cuddles, he licks my face when I cry, he frustrates me, but he know he is mine. Although the pretends he talks back, he is a pretty good listener.
My friends~ I have many different friend groups, but all of them support and encourage me. They are sincere and honest and loving and it is so nice to know they exist, and no matter what change I choose to make, they will still stand by me and up for me.
My Job and the Students I see everyday~ I never knew the reward I would have being a teacher, seriously! Everyday is a new day, everyday is a challenge, but there are very few days when I wake up and don't want to go to work. The silly things students say, the activities they do, the joy they have when the realized just how human you are, amazes me. My students are more than words can say, and I am so thankful for them.
This undisclosed person: I am thankful to him, because with out him I would not have seen what my life could be like. He has no idea how thankful I am to him, and he may not ever, but if it wasn't for a trip to Omaha, and Grand Island, I could have never found the courage within myself to make the choice I did. He challenges me and supports me and makes me laugh. There is a connection that I hope he feels and will act on, but even if he doesn't he still is a truly genuine person.
DVR~ I know it seems silly, but without it I would not be able to watch my favorite TV shows, that honestly put a spring in my step and reminded me what laughing is. Glee, the office I sincerly thank your producers for allowing you on TV!
Corrine~ She is an inspiration, she listens guides and challenges me, words can not express the joy I have know she is my best friend. She is my sister from another mother!
Music~ Thank you Jason Mraz, John Mayer, Glee soundtrack, Micheal Buble, Jack Johnson, Dave Matthews, Journey, Guster, Idina Menzel, Kristen Chenowith, The Abstract, Dave Merkel, Buddy Guy, Britney Spears, Mat Kearney, Matt Nathanson, OAR, Dispatch, etc etc...
My faith ~ it seems a little odd to thank my faith, but the fact is I found it again, I found and and I feel it. It is not a religion, but rather a strength that was given back to me. I am amazed and glad I feel it again.
Social Networking things ~ I love communication and being able to communicate with people makes me happy! To all you inventors of these brilliant things, Thank you!

This joy of gratitude is what I will carry on in 2010, because without it I would not be the person I am. I sincerely hope all who read this have a wonder Thanksgiving and be grateful for what you have, don't be afraid to tell them it either!

Zicam you need to work harder...

I hate being sick, I become very frustrated and annoyed when I am. Zicam failed at protecting me from the plague that is the common cold/sinus infection or whatever. I can handle the sniffles and runny noses, but the pain in my neck and the sore throat and inability to hear as well as a I normally do really drive me nuts. I get it, it is cold season, but it is also the holiday season, they should not go hand in hand. I really just can't handle being sick during this week, i would take 2 weeks from now and be sick, after things have calmed down in my world. but today of all days....not fun.

The only thing I want right now is a huge dose of antibiotics to take away this annoyance. Sleeping all day wouldn't hurt either.

Maybe Zicam will step up sooner or later....

Little People Big World

WARNING: PLEASE SEE THIS AS HUMOR NOT AS INSENSITIVE...
You know on the Steve and Buster's commercial where the people have a "fun" aka "mini me" I decided I want one. Not in the form of Austin Powers and creepy Vern Troyer, but more like a mini me/personal assistant/counselor/who knows. Here is why, I once saw a television show that was discussing the fact that in some areas it is difficult for Little People to find jobs. I could offer a little person a job. Now it may seem odd that a Teacher would need a personal assistant, beings that I am not a fancy shmancy high powered anything, but the amount of questions, issues, bills, receipts, people, emails, etc that I receive in a day, out rivals any fancy shmancy high powered individual. I am amazed at the end of they day the lack of things I get accomplished. Now granted their job would not be just that, they could grade some of the papers, we could go have drinks together, and technically I would be an equal opportunity employer, it just add in a height requirement. Why, may you ask does it need to be a little person, well it seems like they would be less in the way, and sometimes looked beyond so it is almost like they are less noticeable. {that sounds mean, it is not meant to be} there may be some logic to this craziness. Really you should just blame it on Dave and Buster's if they didn't introduce the "fun" i may have not thought of this.

Again, I apologize if this is offensive, this is just how my mind works.

Trying to find/create my happy continued....

So a month has passed since I last posted and things are on the up and up some could say.

1. My smile is back and I remember what it is like to Belly Laugh {you know laugh so hard your stomach aches}

2. I completed one production, Seven Brides and Seven Brothers and am a week from another.

My brother's football team is heading to the state championship. (not so much my happy bit happy for....seeing him beaming after the game totally works)

3. One of my lovely neighbors, complained about my dog, so I have to leave my apartment...That happened on my 27th birthday...not so happy. BUT it did give me the kick in the pants I needed to start the buying of a house process.....SCARY.

4. I have had the privilege to meet in person my very first Nephew. He is the cutest ever and I miss them everyday.

5. I have developed 2 crushes....neither of which I am going to approach, I will just pine for them in my head and create lovely little stories and scenarios to dream about at night. One may ask why not approach them.....the confidence is not where it needs to be, remember still working on my self first.

6.I am excited about the holidays and am trying to find presents for everyone that keep it economical and personal...Thinking about a book Christmas...logical being that I am an English Teacher.

7. I have remembered what it is like to dance around the kitchen and sing at the top of my lungs to the GLEE Soundtrack, so much fun I am glad the only person who ever sees me it my dog Bradshaw.

8. Bradshaw is almost totally potty trained and so much fun. He still cuddles with me.

9. My best friend has really inspired me to work on creating my happy, instead of trying to find it.

10. Shelfari is awesome.....

11. Twilight's New Moon comes out soon! Way pumped!

It is amazing what a month can do to a person, there has been some negative but more than anything it has been a processing situation and the Big girl pants have been put on....only to be taken off to sing and dance with GLEE!

{PS Thanks Keep It Classy Jen...i needed to do this}